The other day I attended a girl’s conference ..not those conferences that are setup to condemn the ‘Boy child ‘ because in the first place they are the ones who were in charge of the whole program in terms of setting up the place ,photography,and all the Tech work that was required ..So get me right without them I am not sure we will be okay because we all need each other,don’t we? Their input in our lives is highly appreciated.
The very first time I attended ,it was hosted by Oyunga Pala ,Yes,.you heard me right. It was quite an engaging session, about relationships and more so “Why Men treat their Partners with silence and one thing that to this moment i hold up that was said on that day was that “80% when a guy decides not to show up for you as his friend or lover,is not about you or us.. girls ..,its not because you have wronged your partner but most likely its about them ,he did mention that men have a different way of sorting their issues as compared to us…on the other side.
I also recall the Lady who was also on the same stage that day, from Capital FM , and her story which was needless to say full of pain ,indeed behind everyone’s laughter there is a story.
She ,narrated of..How she suffered from silent treatment and divorce and how she recovered from it..she talked about at one point being an alcoholic,to depression and her journey to recovery I am sure by this time I was crying deep inside and extremely sad because way back then I used to think this were superheroes wait a minute ,I used to look up to them since they never used to show it ,until I knew that everyone is fighting a battle everyday ,I felt ashamed to have ignored their humanity. So it was good ..to know that whenever somebody gives you ” Silent treatments …more so men..please don’t beat yourself up because there is an 80% likelihood you are not at fault dear so ..let’s move on…He will better catch up later! .Hoping it will not be too late.
Time came when the Management ,took on a different path and now took I don’t want to say a permanent Hostess for the particular conference but she has been there for the last many sessions they have held it ,they might change sometime later,but they chose a person who had and still is in the limelight bit impacts in a positive manner but for this one ,this one I let her be human ,I remember mentioning a few flaws of herself which I could relate to.
This time around the most unusual thing that happened ,is that they had changed the conference room,which they took to the new wing of the Village Market Mall,and this time around the space was bigger unlike the rest of the times people had to stand the whole ,i felt the new ambience even way before I could find my way there. At the entrance there was some people giving free books and with my pride I tried to ignore but for the love of books I just chose to pick the books ,despite I try not to pick anything randomly because you never know…
I found myself wandering around the hall we had used for the previous conference but it was not occupied ,so the next thing that caught up with me was fear ,I normally ask for directions other times when I get stuck in an unfamiliar place but this time I was frozen..a tall ,young lady passed and said hello to me..I think she noticed my low ,shaken voice trying to gather a “hello ” back. I tried my level best ,and excused myself after that to get the directions to the conference room. Its like those walls were speaking to me..to just walk away but something in me ..just kept on protesting to keep on trying….and l had lost all hope ,she introduced herself and ..She was just going to the same event and the funny thing she was part of the Village Market team..actually ,she is a Customer Care attendant at the Mall. Suddenly my inner critic was shut down in an attempt to make me give up.
The Theme for the day was about “Women at the work place.”
I have had to work at some point in my life and even volunteer but never did it occur to me about the battles women have to go through at their work places ,I have seen people complain and more so interns be it on newspapers or heard them verbally complain about mistreatment at the work place. This two are the most vulnerable ,the women and the interns in Kenya ..if not the larger parts of Africa have higher chances of getting into harsh working environments.
So the Hostess had invited a colleague who is an expert in Human resource Management ,a face we have all being seen only in newspapers but never met..as far as I am concerned, I was happy to meet her as well as learn a lot from her,and since this was one of those rare moments you know ..when you get to see someone you have been seeing on television or heard them from Radio stations and on newspapers there is that feeling of excitement that shoots from the spine down to the feet. At this point I was anticipating to get to ask her questions ..or just find a way to talk to her ,I think that would make me to freelance in the air for the next few days ,not because she is a goddess but she was a Lady who despite all odds became all and more of what she could and still what she can.
The discussion was opened by the hostess and by the look of things the conference room was full,the women here from what I observed were girls with external confidence but deep inside wounded by the unfair treatment they had gotten from relationships ,the work environment they had to endure and the world at large. We started out well ,watched relevant videos about the work place ,got into and open discussion ,exchange of advise and critical moments until now no one could take in more ,and so we closed up at least doing what we could for the day,the rest its up to you to do more research or get the relevant people and their contacts for more.
Most of the unfair advantages the men got…of course I took with me some of the ideas given ,and would like to share with you is that …
- Men always took more salaries home ,while they contributed 30% yet the Women settled for less or were okay with what they were earning yet they always and will always contribute 50%
- Men more than women ,will always ask for a pay rise ..it is often told that hardly will a woman walk to her boss to ask for a pay rise but there is that 10% that does , and 6%of them settle for only confronting once but the remaining percentage always push harder and only after a long time of colliding with their Human resource manager or when they dare much to do it themselves.
- A point to note …we women sometimes settle for less and give more as opposed to our counterparts. Not because we want to but ,because we want to hang on and get comfortable while our Men don’t really ,hang on ,they explode.!.
The reason why I ,I think ..”if I were a boy …I would..because Men are taught from the word go to be hunters and that is what they do…even at the work place …oh gosh…yes I admire you but …I am loving in becoming a( Woman .)…because even if I wish to become one….There is a huge part of me which loves being a girl…I cannot bear being a Transgender since they also have their troubles that come with it…
I don’t hate Transgender ,but I appreciate their nature ,they found themselves that way..and they fight a lot of battles ,such as ,so much of rejection,they receive a lot of rejection from family ,friends and the world at large.
- Women are afraid to speak up ,fearing to get fired ,yet its better to speak up and demand what is rightfully yours ,other than contend mediocrity…Let’s speak up,because if we don’t you find out that it is the same timidity that allows you to get sexually harassed at the workplace .
- Men have no excuses when handed an assignment which will make them leave their cozy homes and relocate for women we have attachments to our families and we compromise maybe two or three times ,while you can have an arrangement of how to operate when travelling for work related trips out of the country ,I think that is why Men are entrusted with more and give less while ourselves give more and receive less.
So let’s get ourselves Excellent bargains
Run with the Cheetahs ,they won’t bite ,you will actually become one of them.